Hooter's vs. Harrah's - Get Your H's Straight, Priceline!

OK, so this review of Hooters was from a couple of years ago, but so what? I was in Las Vegas 5 months ago, and it still rings true. It was listed as a 3 star hotel in Vegas. I'm on your side, people. Don't you fall for that 3 star crap!

Give the chicken their wings back - they are better on the chickens than in this sleazy dive.

Travel agent was meant to book my daughter and me at Harrah's. My former in-laws live in Vegas and I just wanted a halfway decent, inexpensive hotel to stay while I picked her up and visited. Going through Priceline, they must have gotten their H's confused, and I ended up booked at Hooter's. Non-refundable. No exchange. A-HEM. I called Hooters, and said, "Listen, I'm traveling to see former-in laws with my 4 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, boobs is not what I intended for her to get in her mind as a career choice and this booking was a mistake". They insisted they are "FAMILY FRIENDLY" and would not refund.

Family friendly, my ass. Tito and Jenna Jameson the Porn Star were all over. Boobage to the max, like staying in a filthy huge frat house with a four year old. Plus the undisclosed $15/day resort fee, ummm, for what?
So I can sit in Dan Marino's Grill and order a kid's hamburger for 10 bucks? Or so I can sit in my shabby, moldy smelling room in which the air conditioner broke? The A/C broke, people. We are in the flippin' DESERT. An entire day and half a night without A/C.
The engineer guy came up finally and fixed it in the middle of the night while my daughter was sleeping, and fortunately whatever blasted out of the vent didn't give us Legionnaire's disease...BUT...then....there was no water. The next day...full day was completely without water. Again, this is the DESERT. I called downstairs and was reassured that it wasn't just *me*, half the hotel was without water. Oh thank God, I thought I was hallucinating. I feel so much better.

So to distract myself from the fact that I am getting the shaft, I decide to go online, check email find games for Little Daughter to play. They say it's free, but when I tried to log on from the room, it's another $10! Oh man, if I didn't have high blood pressure before, I certainly have it now. I called downstairs, and they said, "Well, it *is* free - some places around the pool you can catch a signal from the Motel 6". So I was envisioning myself with a little tinfoil hat trying not to get my laptop splashed, walking in circles til I picked up Internet. They do thoughtfully provide electrical outlets right next to the pool in case you want to plug in and have some drunk trip over your cord and yank your new HP laptop into the pool. Or perhaps they are offering do-it-yourself electroshock therapy (you supply the cord -they supply the outlet and water) to rev up that heartbeat. Takes Vegas entertainment to a whole new level.

Little daughter splashed around in the ICY COLD pool until a sparrow somehow took a nosedive into it. It must have been shocked by the temp, as it couldn't seem to flutter up and out over the pool, and the waterfall kept buffeting it underwater. Suddenly, it got sucked into the drain thingie on the side of the pool.

Maybe that's how Hooter's gets their wings. Anyhow, it was too far to reach, so, I couldn't let Little Daughter down by not saving the bird. I jumped out, took a few steps to uncover the closest filter lid and managed to reach birdie before she drowned. YAY! She dried off under a bush for a few minutes before flying off. That's my only happy Hooters story, and it's all about me saving a little bird.

Let me get back to flipping the bird to Hooters. In the end I got stuck with a bill over $400 for total CRAP. NEVER AGAIN.
ZERO STARS.
I hope it comes crashing down and all the boobs deflate like flaccid balloons.
Everytime we pass a Hooter's, Little Daughter points and yells "Mommy - that means boobies! Why are yours small?"
Die Hooters. Just die.